Road to Hong Kong – The Need for a Passport
I applied for my US passport in 2011 when I was knee-deep into independent filmmaking and I’d scored a free trip to Hong Kong to attend an indie film market and trade conference. I was overjoyed at the prospect of selling an indie film and getting financed for another film and traveling out of the country for the first time since I was in the Marine Corps.
Unfortunately, I didn’t make that trip because I was in California at the time and my New York birth certificate was lost. I paid for rush service to get a certified copy of my birth certificate, but it didn’t arrive until 3 months later.
Nevertheless, I went ahead and submitted my passport application and I was excited to finally have it. As it turns out, I was a Passport Brother before the phrase was ever coined.
Have Passport, Will Travel
Fast forward several years later, three years after my divorce, and I was introduced to a young lady studying English in Vietnam. When our WiFi phone calls and video chats turned romantic I decided to fly out to meet her. Luckily, I had my passport in hand.
It was a simple matter to work with a local travel agent to create an itinerary to fly to Vietnam. At the time I worked in an area of Westminster, CA known as Little Saigon. It has the highest population of Vietnamese Americans in the United States. I got my 30-day single-entry visa and flew to Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam, formerly known as Saigon. The rest is, shall we say, history.
Fast forward several more years, I’m engaged to my Vietnamese girlfriend and we have filed form I129F (Alien Fiancé(e) Visa) with the USCIS to bring Nghĩa to the US so we can get married.
Then I started to hear about this movement on Twitter and YouTube about Passport Bros. When I looked it up and did some research I learned it was a so-called movement where Black men (like me) were getting fed up with the status quo of relationships with women. These men were getting their passports and traveling out of the country to places like the Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Indonesia, to find suitable women to marry.
I was intrigued and I had to learn more.
What is a Passport Brother?
The Urban Dictionary defines passport brothers as Men who understand that western women have drunk the cool aid past the point of no return, and got their passports to enjoy happiness and peace with fit, friendly foreign women.
This tongue-in-cheek definition is apropos of the extremism of modern-day feminism and so-called women’s empowerment. Feminism is ripe with hypocrisy.
The problem with women
On one hand, you have women who staunchly complain that men want them to bow down to them and become quiet, submissive slaves. But those same women, expect to control all aspects of a man’s life, take his money, and offer nothing in return except sex. These women consider themselves “the prize” in a relationship and as such the man owes them everything he has, while they owe him nothing except perhaps occasional sex.
Then there is the woman who wants a 50/50 relationship on the surface. She wants equal treatment, equal pay, and equal blah blah blah. Still, she expects the man to pay for dinner dates, the man to pay her bills, and the man to shut up and cowboy up when dealing with the harsh world.
Alas, there is the so-called traditional woman who wants to be a stay-at-home wife. The problem is she can’t cook, won’t clean, and expects the man to come home from work and take care of the kids.
The dating world is full of women who get triggered when you ask them if they can cook and clean. Some women revolt against this kind of question as if it is some kind of barbaric sexist chore. And perhaps there is some sexism in it but the fact is, it is a traditional role, whether we like it or not.
There are many men who are prepared to accept and even welcome what is expected of them in their traditional roles. Unfortunately, those roles are often one-sided.
End of the Woman-on-a-Pedestal Era
Men have gotten tired of the mixed signals and duplicity. Men have to fight in the workplace, fight to manage their side hustles, fight the government, and fight for peace. Why should they have to fight to find a woman to love and support them?
Lately, I’ve seen men refuse to put a woman on a pedestal simply because of her sex. They want to see the worth, and they expect a woman’s value to manifest itself in some way. You don’t get put on a pedestal just because you believe you belong there. Where is the proof you belong there?
Unfortunately, some women believe the vajajay is worth its weight in diamonds. It may be good – it may be very good – but at the end of the day, a man can get it anywhere and everywhere. And if a certain vajajay comes with strife, confusion, double standards, anger, and downright drama, it’s no wonder why men have donned their travel clothes and traveled to Southeast Asia when the general mentality of women is significantly different towards men.
What do Western women bring to the table nowadays?
I’ve been in four significant long-term relationships in my life. In those relationships, I was always the better cook. My mom, dad, and auntie taught me how to cook. (Cinnamon chicken? What the hell is that?) I was always the better cleaner. My dad and the United States Marines Corps taught me how to clean. (Have you ever heard of dusting behind the couch?) I always preferred doing my laundry myself because my mom and common sense taught me how to do it right. (I hated bleach stains on my black T-shirts and dingy whites. One word: pre-soak.)
If a woman was not emotionally supportive or encouraging what was she good for besides occasional sex?
What do western women bring to the table? One thing they bring is high body counts. That is, they bring a plethora of past sexual escapades and partners with them. That’s unfortunate because the old adage is true, women choose a boyfriend but men choose a wife. Women may call the shots in the dating world, but when it’s time to get married, a man will not put a ring on the finger of someone he cannot bring home to his mom.
What else do women bring to the table? Women bring expectations of what they want, but no compromise on what they are willing to give. Women accuse men of trying to be domineering, but that is the role they so easily fit into themselves.
True strength and true independence means, you do not require aid or support. It stands to reason that a strong and independent woman shouldn’t need a man’s money, right? If that is the case then why do so many women demand that men earn over $100k per year, when only 3% of the male population earns that much? And this is a woman’s demand when she isn’t making that much herself.
From Mail Order Brides to Passport Brothers
Not long ago there was a stigma attached to men who married women from abroad. Russian and Asian women were called mail-order brides when they were sought out by American men and flown to the US for marriage. It was a big deal in the 1980s and 1990s. Most people mocked those men, and they were ridiculed for spending money to buy a bride when there were ample women in the States to marry.
Times have certainly changed.
Now many men see the value in meeting so-called third-world women with more traditional values. Men have signed up to get their passports and are vacationing in countries like the Philipines, Thailand, and Vietnam where men of all races are held in high regard.
Middle-aged men like myself don’t need to boast six-packs and Vin Diesel arms in order to get a woman’s attention. Women in these countries are interested in our stories, and they admire how to go out into the workforce every day to earn money. They feel it is their duty to ensure we come home to a comfortable atmosphere. And in our gratitude, we try to bless them with good experiences, gifts, and loyalty.
Passport Brothers aren’t looking for slaves. They do not seek docile, close-mouthed indentured servants. Passport Brothers are looking for companions. They’re looking for friends and partners.
Caveat Emptor – Passport Limitations
Buying a passport and a plane ticket to Thailand is not a guarantee of a successful relationship, much less a successful marriage. Southeast Asian women are not without their complications. There are cultural differences to consider, family considerations, and often religious and political differences.
However, Passport Brothers who venture overseas to find love often also experience a relaxed and laid-back dating adventure. While it can be formal in some aspects, dating is not full of games and innuendos like in the states. For example, if you ask a simple question you won’t be met with silence because the woman is trying to hide her cards from you. You’ll get an answer and you can move on to the next question.
Also, foreign women can often articulate in exact detail what they are willing and prepared to do in a relationship. They know what their role is and what the man’s role is. Foreign women have little desire to crossover into the opposite gender’s territory.
However, there like all things there are scammers out there to be wary of. In the same way, there are golddiggers and scammers out here in the US, there are golddiggers and scammers all over the world. They will smile to your face, be flirty, and maybe even sleep with you. But their ultimate goal is to take what you have one way or another.
Passport Bros should take extra precautions when they are thousands of miles away from home and in another country. They have little to fear from typical muggers, robbers, phone snatchers, and more to be concerned with regarding overly eager women with fistfuls of drugs.
What do Women Bring to the Table?
What do women want in a man? Well, many Western women should first ask themselves what they bring to the table. If they want equality they should hold up their side of the relationship. If they want economic stability they should be fiscally responsible. If they want loyalty they should be committed. If they want a man to be emotionally available they should not allow their capacity for compassion and empathy to be crippled by gender stereotypes.
Moreover, if women continue being sticklers for ridiculous physical requirements in height, and muscularity then they should transform themselves into the ideal woman for their ideal man. In some cases, this might be a US-size 2, petite with long natural hair and a clear complexion.
In all seriousness, Women in the US are divided, and thus send a divided message to the men they hope to date. What do I want and what do I have, is the question they should be asking.
What does a real man want in a woman? While men may not have a stronghold on exactly what they want, they have clearly identified what they don’t want. A man doesn’t want to be constantly challenged in his relationship when he is the provider. He wants a woman who is grateful for his efforts and has his back.
Women in Southeast Asia have known the value of supporting their men for centuries. They know exactly what they will bring to the table. If a Passport Brother can appreciate that, the relationship stands a good chance of being mutually beneficial.